Pink is the new blog. Britney is the new brunette. And businesspeople are the new evil. Sorry, Wall Street types, don’t blame me for starting your day with such mojo-crushing news, but rather point a finger at all the Hollywood types who’ve been painting you as kidnappers and murderers in recent months.

According to a study by the Media Research Center that examined 129 episodes of 12 major network shows during the May and November sweeps of 2005, corporate folks were 21 times more likely to commit a kidnapping or murder than mobsters, five times more likely than terrorists, and four times more likely than gang members. And if that’s not enough of a black eye for the business community, Kevin Spacey — one of a growing roster of Oscar winners who aren’t ashamed of a comic book adaptation (and why should they be?) — says he based his Superman Returns‘ villain, Lex Luthor, on Enron’s Kenneth Lay.

That said, all you fiscal VPs, company execs, and shop owners, take heart: As in life, all things in Hollywood are cyclical. So let’s begin your public-image rehab by helping crime-procedural writers unearth the next hot surrogates to carry out their fictitious homicidal fantasies. I’ll start the ball rolling: Theme-park performers? Pre-school teachers? Wait! I’ve got it! Kittens! Yes, kittens are the new evil. Remember, you heard it here first.

Superman Returns
  • Movie
  • 157 minutes
  • Bryan Singer