Screech is in danger of losing his house, but you can help, with just $15.

Yesterday, Dustin Diamond, formerly of Saved By the Bell, told Howard Stern’s listeners that he needs about 30,000 of you to help him raise $250,000 over the next 30 days in order to save his Wisconsin home from foreclosure. But you might ask: “What do I get in return for this generous $15 contribution to the Save Screech’s House fund — besides the piece of mind of knowing that I am supporting a fine, young artist? A ticket to a Zach Attack benefit show? Perhaps a charity lunch hosted by Screech’s robot roommate Kevin?

No, you get a T-shirt — pardon me, a “D-shirt” — that says “I paid $15 to help Screech save his house.”

A $20 donation gets you a D-shirt signed with an obscene remark directed toward a New York Capital Exchange employee that Screech initially relied on to help him save his house. (Snap! Sock it to him, Screech. You give it to him like you gave it to Horshack in the second round of your Celebrity Boxing 2 match.)

But seriously, PopWatch readers: Give and give generously to Dustin Diamond. He did unto others when he let Jesse Spano be valedictorian just because he knew how much it meant to her. Now it’s time for us to do unto Screech.

(A single tear.)