By Scott Brown
Updated June 14, 2006 at 12:00 PM EDT
Uwe Boll: Jeffrey Mayer/

Uwe Boll, widely touted as the world’s worst director, wants you to hit him in the face. Will you take him up on it?

All connoisseurs of crap are familiar with the ewwy oeuvre of Uwe: House of the Dead. Alone in the Dark. Bloodrayne. All based on second-tier video games whose licenses Boll somehow got ahold of. The upcoming In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, hotly anticipated by crapsthetes the world over. (This latest entry in the Boll roll promises to answer the longstanding question: What if I remade Lord of the Rings in my backyard with $6 and Ray Liotta?)

Uwe’s tired of comments like that. So tired of them, in fact, that he’s challenging his critics to a duel. Like the Bond villain he aspires to be, he’ll fly them to his base of operations in Vancouver, treat them to a hotel stay, and then go 10 rounds with them as cameras roll. The footage will be used in Postal, his latest crime against celluloid.

I’d take him up on it, but the rules stipulate a similar weightclass, and Boll’s got a serious advantage on my puny frame. So the cry goes out for a champion: Who will fight Uwe in my place?

However the bout turns out, I can guarantee this much: Boxing with Uwe has to be less awkward than eating an ironic dinner with him.

addCredit(“Uwe Boll: Jeffrey Mayer/”)