By Michael Slezak
Updated June 05, 2006 at 12:00 PM EDT

By now, most of you know PopWatch is a no-shame zone. And so it’s in the spirit of love — not ridicule — that I present a video flashback to the formative years of a certain serious thespian who’s celebrating his birthday today. I won’t spoil the surprise by dropping details, except to say that I don’t ever recall seeing that scantily clad-chick-in-the-bedroom scene… do you? So click the link, and we’ll save the photo and the discussion till after the jump.

Wicked awesome, right? (C’mon, music snobs, don’t get your Calvinsin a twist — you were totally chair-dancing in your cubicles.) Solet’s wish a happy 35th to Mark Robert Michael Wahlberg by serenadinghim with the following dope rhymes:

Donnie D’s on the backup
Drug free, so put the crack up
No need for speed,
I’m anti D-R-U-G-G-I-E my
Body is healthy
My rhymes make me wealthy
And the Funky Bunch helps me
To bring you a show with no intoxication
Come on feel the vibration!

Can you feel it, PopWatchers? Yeah, I can too.

addCredit(“Marky Mark: Bernhard Kuhmstedt / Retna”)