The 10 hottest topics of the week of June 9, 2006

By Scott Brown
June 02, 2006 at 04:00 AM EDT

1 Hilary Swank and Chad Lowe divorce And the saddest part is, she almost forgot to divorce him.

2 Janet Jackson says she gained weight for role Anything for art. I consumed eight Ho Hos for this joke alone.

3 Train to cover Queen Me to cover ears.

4 Shatner says he’ll foster Mideast peace by teaching disabled Israeli kids to ride horses Horses warily agree to the plan, provided Shatner returns to his pre-1967 borders.

5 Voice of Peanuts‘ Lucy convicted for illegal demonstration After all those years of malicious football fake-outs, this is kind of like getting Capone on tax evasion.

6 Paris Hilton to release reggae single called ”Stars Are Blind” The lucky ones, I suspect, are deaf.

7 LED {Jude Law and Sienna Miller still working things out}] ”Things” include Law’s tawdry online affair with Net Nanny.

8 Michael Jackson appears in Tokyo Godzilla was summoned to stop him, and now they’re supposedly recording an album together.

9 Victoria Principal divorces plastic surgeon I just hope she’s not cutting off her nose to spite her face.

10 Randy Jackson to tour with Mariah Carey Meanwhile, producers say Paula Abdul has been ”sent to live with a nice family on a farm.”