By Michael Slezak
Updated May 30, 2006 at 10:10 PM EDT

Break out the ganja (or something to numb the pain)! Word on the street is Paris Hilton’s exploring a reggae sound for her upcoming debut CD; to me, it’s the equivalent of combining two totally conflicting flavors — like chocolate and vomit. And that’s why, in a humble display of dissention, I’ve composed a protest haiku.

no, marley, no cry
money can’t buy tunefulness
only earplugs, jah

Won’t you write one too, mon?

addCredit(“Paris Hilton: Jeff Vespa/”)