May 23, 2006 at 06:57 PM EDT

American Idol Season 5 Encores arrives in stores (and on AOL Music) today, proving once again that not all contestants are created equal. Here’s my take on each track — in 15 words or less:

Melissa McGhee, ”What About Love”: Decent, but c’mon, Ann Wilson’s voice would swallow hers like Pacman devouring a blue ghost.

Bucky Covington, “Superstition”: Really, Bucky, even Paula could’ve told you to stick to country.

Mandisa, “I’m Every Woman”: Where’s Mandisa? ‘Cause her outsized pipes — and saucy sing-speak intro — are sadly MIA.

Chris Daughtry, “Wanted Dead Or Alive”: The lyrics say it best: “I’ve seen a million faces, and I’ve rocked them all.”

Ace Young, “Father Figure”: Suddenly, “I’ll be your daddy” sounds so much…filthier.

Taylor Hicks, “Takin’ It to the Streets”: I cannot tell a lie: I just performed Taylor’s patented windmill dance move.

Lisa Tucker, “Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I’m Yours)”: Where’d she record this? In a strip-mall karaoke studio?

Kellie Pickler, “Walkin’ After Midnight”: Who’d’ve guessed I’d be longing for some post-song banter with Seacrest?

Elliott Yamin, “Moody’s Mood For Love”: Despite the cheesy instrumentation, I could listen to this on repeat loop all day.

Katharine McPhee, “Think”: Lucky for Katharine, it’s really not polite to compare anyone to Aretha.

Paris Bennett, “Midnight Train To Georgia”: Seriously? Get the girl some Pips, and she could conquer the world.

Kevin Covais, “When I Fall In Love”: If Simon Cowell went to hell, guess what would be on his iPod?

addCredit(“Kevin Covais: Jemal Countess/”)

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