May 23, 2006 at 09:03 PM EDT

I know I come off like a benevolent blogger, but actually, my goal is to get all of you fired from your jobs. Then I can get rich opening a national chain of Internet-coffeehouses called The Watercooler where smart, funny, unemployed folks can work on their résumés, surf the net, consume overpriced Cheetos and Diet Cokes, and passionately debate their pop-culture obsessions. The latest step in my evil master plan: To get you busted by your boss checking out one of these clearly not-work-related links:

10 Things I Hate About Commandments: There’s no arguing that this trailer for Charlton Heston’s classic — recut to the music of Beyoncé, Usher, and the Romantics — is a hoot, but the shout-outs to Sinéad O’Connor and Samuel L. Jackson raise it to must-see status.

-I’ll say nothing about TVGasm’s mashup of American Idol and The O.C., other than that it’s definitely worth a few precious minutes of your afternoon. (Poor Marissa!)

Metafilter pointed me to a link of Luke Chueh’s artwork, and now I can’t stop looking. Too bad “I Asked for Scrambled” and “Ham” are sold out; otherwise these vaguely cannibalistic pieces would be hanging in my apartment.

-And finally, in honor of Joan Collins’ 73rd birthday, a tribute to her famous Alexis-Krystle catfights. Rated G, for genius!

You May Like