By Michael Slezak
Updated May 19, 2006 at 06:58 PM EDT
Credit: Cher: Suzan/

I think it’s time we all pull our chairs into a giant circle, sit down, and throw back a few shots reflect on the meaning of life. You see, Saturday marks a milestone birthday for one Cherilyn Sarkisian LaPierre. Yep, Cher’s turning 60. Holy cow, can that be true? My name is Michael, and…ugh. Let’s just haiku about it, okay?

snap out of it, peeps
all you gypsies tramps and thieves
bake it, chastity

addCredit(“Cher: Suzan/”)