By Scott Brown
Updated May 17, 2006 at 04:29 AM EDT

Homemakers, rejoice. Too long have Americans made do with un-Chinese china and so-called “Persian” rugs. Now, according to reports, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie may be giving us a more authentic alternative. Get ready for Namibiaware,* African products that really are from Africa! Honest!

Yes, Namibia, apart from being fun to say, will soon supply scads of cultural importers with housewares, if Brangelina’s plans come to fruition. So much energy these celebrities have! A mere mortal would be too busy procreating to think up AfrIkea.** Not these two. Between Lamaze sessions, they’re saving the world, one hand-carved pestle at a time.

I wonder if the line will include a traditional manure-burning stove? Because if there’s one thing my studio apartment needs, it’s a traditional manure-burning stove. And some goats.

* Brangelina, please contact me for rights to this kick-ass name.
** This one might require a tad more lawyering, but you can handle it.