Sez here that reading The Da Vinci Code can convince you conservative Catholic prelature Opus Dei is a “murderous sect,” make you believe Jesus was a daddy, and shake your beliefs to their foundations. This, according to a survey of 1,000 British adults conducted by an organization of English Catholics. An organization that wants a “health label” put on the movie. Really? When Doogal was released into the environment without so much as a “Caution: This Movie Will Make Your Children Dumber”?

Yes, I have some problems with this study. First off, it was commissioned by a group of people who stand to benefit from the hysteria it will foment. Second: So the Brits find Da Vinci convincing. So what? British people are notoriously easy to convince. These are the people who find Doctor Who convincing.

The Da Vinci Code convinced me of only one thing: Dan Brown is the luckiest bastard alive.

(Scott foams at the mouth after the jump…)

Seriously, this kind of argument is repugnant. I’m a hair moresusceptible to it when we’re talking about programs aimed at children.But we’re talking about (theoretically) free-thinking adults here! Thevery idea that someone might propose a “health label” on an idea (goodor bad, specious, or airtight) is a humiliating insult to human dignity.

Besides, it’s too damn easy. It seems anyone with a thesis and a fewdozen graduate students can make a “statistical” case for the Big MediaBugbear. Consider these shocking revelations about The Daily Show.Apparently, you watch… and you never vote again. Funny, because Iknow a lot of people who are, if anything, more politically engaged,thanks to The Daily Show. The study cites the (somewhat)equal-opportunity ribbing Stewart and Co. gave both presidentialcandidates, and blames him for eliminating both options and makingpeople feel hopeless about their choices. Well… sorry? Those were our choices.

Knowledge is power, yes. But ignorance is also power. The messagein both of these cases is: More Information is bad because people can’tfilter. It’s the message of every two-bit Taliban that’s ever flickeredacross history’s bigscreen, and I think, ladies and gentlemen, we’vejust got to reject it. Exactly how stupid do they think you are? Prettydamned stupid is the answer. Too stupid to watch a silly summer moviewithout “health labels,” at least.

Now, pardon me, I’ve got to go set myself on fire. I saw a cartoon character do it once.