By Michael Slezak
May 12, 2006 at 07:54 PM EDT

Scanning the nation’s papers this morning, I was hoping to, er, flip, over headline writers’ creativity in discussing the new disaster remake, Poseidon. And while there were still more than a few disastrous clichés — Louisville Courier-Journal‘s soggy “Poseidon still an adventure” comes to mind — and a couple of repetitive jokes (USA Today‘s “Poseidon sinks under its own weight” and the Boston Globe‘s “Poseidon sinks of its own weight”) most of ’em held water, so to speak. Here’s a countdown of my five favorites:

5. Edmonton Sun: Dead in the Water
4. Seattle Times: Disaster hits, and we’re not talking about the wave that flips “Poseidon”
3. New York Daily News: Hulluva disaster yarn
2. Orange County Weekly: Das Wasserlogged Boot
1. Portland Tribune: Despite cast, loose script sinks ship