Kathy Griffin takes EW's Pop Culture Personality Test
Kathy Griffin doesn’t scare easily. The comedian isn’t afraid to take potshots at the likes of Oprah and Spielberg, and she’s equally fearless in skewering her own star status — or rather, lack thereof — on My Life on the D-List (Griffin’s series starts its second season on Bravo in June). After discussing her devotion to Clay Aiken (”The Claymates hate me because they don’t understand that I make fun of Clay, but I also love him”) and the evils of webcams (”To me, a webcam is synonymous with an arsenal of explosives and uranium”), the 44-year-old redhead faced EW’s frighteningly prying personality test.
1. In high school I was:
A drama nerd in love with the gay guy in the play — but not understanding why he didn’t want to make out with me.
2. My American Idol audition song would be:
A) ”I’m Every Woman”
B) ”Friends in Low Places”
C) ”On the Wings of Love”
D) ”Wanted Dead or Alive”
E Other (please specify): ”Straight Up, ” and I would sing it right to Paula Abdul.
3. Choose one:
4. Do you have any tattoos? Piercings?
My wedding ring is a tattoo. It’s a picture of a diamond.
5. The Dynasty diva I most identify with is: A) Krystle
B) Alexis I also wear a lot of makeup and am tragically misunderstood.
D) Sammy Jo
6. The person I’m mistaken for most often:
Either Vicki Lewis from NewsRadio or Kathie Lee Gifford. A lot of people call me Kathie Lee Griffin.
7. If my life were a drinking game, everyone would do a shot when…
Teri Hatcher cries, because she cries all the time.
8. After I’ve had a long day, I like to kick back with:
A) A dry martini
B) A glass of pinot noir
C) A cold beer
D) Chamomile tea
Other: I’ve never had a drink in my life. I’m a big Diet Coke with Lemon person.
9. What’s in my glove compartment:
Lots and lots of napkins and Kleenex. I have an irrational fear of having to blow my nose.
10. The last thing I bought on eBay:
I have never in my life purchased anything from eBay. I count with an abacus and my phone numbers are in a Rolodex.
11. If I had to gain 30 pounds for a role, I would eat:
Cake Soup. It’s a thing I invented. Put a pint of Haagen-Dazs vanilla ice cream and two pieces of warm chocolate cake in a mixer. It’s disgusting.
12. My porn name is:
Cleo + Home = Cleo Home
(Childhood Pet Street You Grew Up On)