By Michael Slezak
Updated May 11, 2006 at 10:59 PM EDT
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As Elton John once sang, sad songs say so much — apparently, enough to fill an entire book. Indeed, Tom Reynolds’ I Hate Myself and Want to Die: The 52 Most Depressing Songs You’ve Ever Heard catalogs the best multiple-Kleenex hits, including Billie Holiday’s ”Strange Fruit,” ”Prayers for Rain” by the Cure (pictured), even Celine Dion’s ”All By Myself,” which qualifies in the chapter Horrifying Remakes of Already Depressing Songs. (Reynolds cheekily notes that La Dion’s rendition sounds like “two tectonic plates battling over a continent.”)

Still, I can’t help but wonder how Bonnie Raitt’s ”I Can’t Make You Love Me,” a song that hurts worse than biting the inside of your mouth, failed to make the cut. Furthermore, what about Shelby Lynne’s ”Your Lies,” a sorrowful slice of pop that cuts like a cheap wine glass in a sink full of suds? And how exactly did Reynolds forget to include at least one track by the Smiths? Maybe he’s saving ’em all for the sequel — in which case, perhaps it’s not too late for all of us to list the numbers guaranteed to send us down the depression spiral. Ready, set, emote.

addCredit(“The Cure: Paul Slattery / Retna UK”)

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