TV's funniest quotes: Pick the best

“You think God wants my breath to smell?”
ARI GOLD (JEREMY PIVEN), ON EATING A MINT INSTEAD OF FASTING DURING YOM KIPPUR, ON ENTOURAGE

“Well, it’s official — I am the only single sorority sister left. Guess it’s true what they say: the first one to be in a threesome, last one to get married.”
MELODY (KERI RUSSELL), ON SCRUBS

“It’s great to be in San Francisco. San Francisco has several nicknames: the Golden Gate City, the City by the Bay, or my favorite — L.A. With Books.”
CONAN O’BRIEN, ON LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O’BRIEN

“In other bikini news…I bet Anderson Cooper has never said that.”
RYAN SEACREST, HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS, ON E! NEWS WEEKEND

“Sometimes the clothes at Gap Kids are just too flashy. So I’m forced to go to the American Girl store and order clothes for large colonial dolls.”
THE PETITE-SIZE ANGELA (ANGELA KINSEY), DISCUSSING HER SHOPPING HABITS, ON THE OFFICE

“Legally Blonde the musical opened on Broadway last weekend. It’s a can’t-miss for anyone who’d like to see the movie again for 200 bucks.”
DAVID SPADE, ON THE SHOWBIZ SHOW