The 10 hottest topics of the week of May 12, 2006

By Scott Brown
Updated May 05, 2006 at 04:00 AM EDT

1 50 Cent lashes out at Oprah Retaliating, Oprah orders white women 35-55 to support The Game in all future beefs.

2 Masseuse alleges Kevin Costner had sex with self Impossible. He’s way too old for him.

3 Daniel Baldwin skirts cocaine felony charge This after some physicists had posited that the Theoretical Baldwin did not exist.

4 Lost‘s Michelle Rodriguez jailed for DUI And you know new meat got to cough up spoilers for the prison blog.

5 David Copperfield foils mugging with magic ”It wasn’t really magic,” the thugs later testified. ”More like glitzy stagecraft and expensive special effects.”

6 Teri Hatcher is wearing an eye patch Beware, desparrrate mateys, the Cursed Kiss of the Seacrest!

7 Hasbro releases limited-edition George Lucas-as-storm-trooper figure Plastic dialogue not included.

8 Snoop and Co. arrested for brawling at London airport I fear Mr. Dogg and his familiars will not be welcome at tea for at least a fortnight.

9 Yakov Smirnoff, having earned his ”Masters in Positive Psychology” from UPenn, vows to usher in ”Age of Enlaughterment” If America resists, Smirnoff promises to unleash a sustained bombing campaign in the Catskills.

10 Harvard novelist claims plagiarism was unintentional What a country!