Dance, Dance, Cruise-o-lution

There are days when you wonder if Tom Cruise will ever do something silly again. And then there’s today.

Here he is on 106 and Park. Dancing (with Park cohost Julissa). Getting “down.” Letting it all, as they say, “hang out.” And looking perfectly limber and natural and not a thing like the Ricardo Montalban bobblehead on the dash of your crazy drunk uncle’s pickup.

The clip description says Cruise is attempting to mimic Yung Joc’s moves from the <a href=”http://youtube.com/watch?v=CLPGoygzKAI&search=”it’s goin down’
“>”It’s Goin’ Down” video. After comparing these two clips exhaustively, I can find no significant differences. True, Joc’s video is crammed with hoochies and hangers-on, whereas Cruise sports only Michelle Monaghan wearing what appears to be the purple velour left over from a Prince fitting. But, other than that, it’s an almost perfect re-creation. Cruise clearly “knows the history” of hip-pops and wrist-flips.

In related news, I hear Cruise’s little movie is actually good. Consider the following: What if Tom Cruise is right about everything? Maybe Ibuprofen really will cause the aliens inside me to riot and multiply. Maybe Xenu really is an evil galactic overlord, and not the moderate galactic overlord we thought we elected. Maybe psychiatry really is Nazi science, which means my therapist is a Nazi, which is weird, because she’s Jewish, but who knows, maybe they’re more of a “big-tent” party these days. Maybe.

Or maybe I’ll just go and enjoy a good, stupid movie. Tom Cruise will do his job: run and jump and look intense. I will do my job: sit on my rump and watch stuff ‘splode and court Type-II diabetes with a box Junior Mints and a Cherry Coke. And all will be well. Unless someone starts dancing.

addCredit(“Tom Cruise: Johnny Nunez/WireImage.com”)