In an uncensored IM debate, EW's Scott Brown responds to his friend Anthony King's attacks on the Rose flashback, Kate's personality disorder, and other dangling plot points

By Scott Brown
Updated May 03, 2006 at 04:00 AM EDT
Lost: ABC/Mario Perez

”Lost”: Does it suck or does it rock?

LunchTruck Dude — I can’t believe the last episode of LOST made you cry — Lame Town.

SlimPickinsBritches76 If Lame Town is a place where heartless bastards aren’t allowed, I guess yeah, I live in Lame Town, population Not You. Don’t tell me that Rose/Locke flashback wasn’t both touching and plot-advancing…

LunchTruck Oh sure, I’ve barely been able to sleep waiting to see what happens to *Rose*. Come on! Not since the third season of ”What’s Happenin’?” has a show’s title so accurately described its course. LOST is lost.

SlimPickinsBritches76 Lost is…finding itself. Like an impetuous twentysomething.

LunchTruck And no one wants to hang out with one of those.

SlimPickinsBritches76 You’ve got to let them explore if they’re going to grow.

LunchTruck I wish they would explore! Watching people play poker and build churches out of sticks is not exploration. It’s boring.

SlimPickinsBritches76 Hey, that was MANGO poker, and they’re building a MAGIC church. You’ve just lost your faith in the Island.

LunchTruck Wow — you defend this show like you did your ex-girlfriend. She’s abusing you! Get out!

SlimPickinsBritches76 Look, she…she…was just going through this phase…just being kind of mystical and aloof and promising me answers that never came…but we got through it! When she dumped me.

LunchTruck Hey! That was another time you cried! Speaking of girls — what the hell has happened to Kate this season? She’s gone from ”sexy felon” to ”whiny tanktop model.” Why would they turn Kate into a silly girl who uses fake beards for leverage?

SlimPickinsBritches76 Fake beards? Are we going to start in on YOUR girlfriends now? OK, I’ll concede, Kate’s gotten pretty nebulous as a character. But what if that’s intentional? What if her dependence on Sawyer and Jack is making her weak and stupid, and this becomes an issue? What if they call it out and use it?

LunchTruck Oh, they love to call out all their bad writing. So it doesn’t make sense that anyone would pack a pregnancy test in their luggage? No problem — just have Kate say, ”Why would anyone put a pregnancy test in their luggage?” Sorry — it’s still bad writing.

SlimPickinsBritches76 This is TV — you’ve got to use every part of the buffalo. What’s done is done, and you’ve locked yourself into a mythology that’s supposed to encompass everything. Watching them game their way out is half the fun. And as for great characters, well, we’ve still got Locke…

LunchTruck Locke? You mean the guy who somehow memorized an elaborate blacklight map in 30 seconds while his leg was pierced by a steel door?

SlimPickinsBritches76 A MAGIC steel door…

LunchTruck Look — LOST has no idea where it’s going anymore or how to get there. I hope the season finale proves me wrong, but they’ve forgotten what made the show interesting — there’s no more struggle. It’s just a bunch of pretty people playing games in paradise.

SlimPickinsBritches76 What the hell do you know? You think Back to the Future 2 is the best Back to the Future movie.

LunchTruck It is! And I hate you.

SlimPickinsBritches76 I hate you too.

LunchTruck Next week?

SlimPickinsBritches76 Sopranos.

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