HeadScratcher No. 38: Letter perfect

Did you love Spellbound? That movie restored my faith in humanity I loved it so much. So when I read new PopWatch star Scott Brown’s concise review of Akeelah and the Bee, it brought me back to those heady days in the spring of 2003 when I tried — unsuccessfully — to establish “Can you use it in a sentence?” as my new catchphrase. So yes, I had spelling on the brain last Friday when I came up with this week’s HeadScratcher, as Official PopWatch Kiss-Ass Connie Chilton pointed out in her almost-perfect answer. (But I refuse to acknowledge the Starbucks connection; I don’t even drink coffee.)

“T.H.I.S. O.N.E. I.S. H.A.R.D. I. W.I.L.L. H.A.V.E. T.O. G.I.V.E. I.T. S.O.M.E. S.E.R.I.O.U.S. T.H.O.U.G.H.T.,” snarked PopWatcher of the Week Adam Kennedy. (Hey, wise guy, next time, give me the answer before you mock me.) But I give Young Kennedy props for coming up with a creative answer for what I thought was a pretty easy question. But you’d be surprised how many of you guessed otherwise.

Yes, each of these musicians had a hit song in which they spelled out the title — or some portion thereof. Garth Brooks asked “B-double E-double R-U-N?” in “Beer Run.” Aretha Franklin asked us to find out what “R-E-S-P-E-C-T” means to her. Blogfather favorite Hall & Oates explained the “M-E-T-H-O-D-O-F-L-O-V-E,” inexplicably leaving out the “modern” in the title, proving once again that they are classic. Men Without Hats had an 11-year-old blogfather chanting “S-S-S-S-A-A-A-A-F-F-F-F-E-E-E-E-T-T-T-T-Y-Y-Y-Y” like a quality-control officer with Tourette’s. And finally, Ashlee Simpson (pictured) was talkin’ ’bout “L.O.V.E.” in her recent, maddeningly addictive hit single.

(See the list of s-m-a-r-t-i-e-s after the jump — quick, before reading this entry gives you a s-e-i-z-u-r-e.)

The asterisks denote extra love for those of you who followed directions and gave me complete answers. As for the rest of you, as your teachers told your blogmother and me on Parents’ Night, you’re just not applying yourself! Time outs for all of you!

Patrick Bannister
Shane Christopher*
Connie Chilton
Michael Flohr*
Dyan Glazer*
Anne Henderson
Ken Howard
Athena Ioannou
Kathleen Jeffries
Adam Kennedy
Liza Muftikian
Ed Nemmers*
Bryan Petersen
Harold Reynolds
Cliff Rives
Allan Ross
John Sams*
Terry Sproul
Michael Tenney