And the award for the most anticlimactic awards show goes to… The MTV Movie Awards! (Pretend I’m reading the rest of this paragraph in a curmudgeonly grandpa voice.) Back in the day, this used to be a funny, spontaneous show. Or at least, it used to come off that way. Now, however, it’s about as canned and uncontroversial as a Bush rally.

Not even today’s announcement that the host of next month’s ceremony will be Jessica Alba (who, I’m sure it’s just a coincidence, is nominated for three popcorn-tub trophies) is likely to muster up much viewer enthusiasm for the June 8 broadcast. (Which, of course, premieres several days after the show is taped and the winners’ names released to the news media.) Still, we can hope for a little suspense or surprise. Alba narrowly avoided a wardrobe malfunction at last year’s show. Maybe this year she’ll display some of her heretofore underexposed assets — like a flair for comedy.

addCredit(“Jessica Alba: Jim Smeal/BEImages”)