Weekend To-Do List: Sofa-Bound Edition

-My goal this weekend is not to get off the couch. I mean, I could go to the movies, but no matter how unanimous the critical acclaim for United 93, I’m just not ready to see it yet. If I do manage to forklift myself off the sofa and go to the multiplex, it’ll be for cinematic comfort food, like Akeelah and the Bee (pictured).

-Or maybe Clean: Any excuse to watch the iconic Maggie Cheung, even if she’s playing a junkie mom in a custody battle.

-I don’t usually watch the Daytime Emmys, but with Rick Springfield singing, Barbara Walters officially announcing Rosie O’Donnell’s addition to The View, and Kelly Monaco trying to avoid a wardrobe malfunction, I just might tune in (ABC, Friday, 8 p.m).

-Also this weekend: Ambiguously Gay Duo Stephen Colbert and Steve Carell will host Saturday Night Live‘s best of ”TV Funhouse” special, a compilation of Robert Smigel’s animated shorts that are usually the funniest parts of the show anyway (NBC, Saturday, 11:30).

-If I pop in a DVD, it’ll be the new Marlene Dietrich boxed set The Glamour Collection, featuring three of the iconic and still incredibly risqué movies she made with Josef von Sternberg 75 years ago.

-In my CD changer will be Bruce Springsteen’s new We Shall Overcome: The Seeger Sessions, which sounds like the kind of party record the E Street Band would have made had they been around 100 years ago.

-Also loaded up will be the Secret Machines’ elegant new breakup album Ten Silver Drops — it’s emo for grownups.

-Finally, it’s high time I caught up with that funny teen-angst novel King Dork that everyone’s raving about. How sad is that? I’ve even been too lazy to curl up on the couch and read.

addCredit(“Akeelah and the Bee: Saeed Adyani”)