By Michael Slezak
Updated August 03, 2020 at 07:13 PM EDT

I should’ve figured everything that came after Yo Momma in my TV-Turnoff Week experiment would be anticlimactic, but even with that in mind, this morning’s episode of The View was a colossal snore. Granted, I haven’t watched the program since the reliably wacky Martha started competing in The View‘s timeslot here in New York back in the fall, but I figured today’s guest 50 Cent (promoting a new kids’ nutrition program) was guaranteed to bring out the ladies’ saucy best.

Instead, aside from Joy Behar asking Fitty if he found the idea of eating rice cakes scarier than the experience of being shot, the whole segment was nothing more than a depressing product plug for Vitamin Water. The only other moment of excitement in the entire hour was seeing recently breast-lifted Star Jones shooting a look-dagger at Joy for blurting, ”85 with new boobs, that’s weird!” during a segment on what it’s like to be elderly in America. Seeing the sorry state this show is in, and with the rumor swirling that Rosie O’Donnell is about to take over Meredith’s soon-to-be-vacated seat, I’d like to propose an Extreme Makeover: View Edition, as follows:

Mo’Nique replaces Meredith.
Rosie O’Donnell replaces Joy.
Margaret Cho replaces Star Jones Reynolds.
Joan Rivers replaces Barbara Walters
Patricia Heaton replaces Elisabeth Hasselbeck.

Okay, PopWatchers, tell me you wouldn’t watch my View, or else propose an even more awesome lineup…if you dare.

The View

  • TV Show
  • ABC
stream service