On ''Survivor,'' the fire dancer gets burned and Cirie thinks she's hot stuff
Credit: Courtney Marit: Monty Brinton

”Survivor”: The fire dancer gets burned

She’s afraid of leaves. She can catch fish but is then scared to carry it. And each of her breasts reside in their own private zip code. But to insist Cirie doesn’t have what it takes to be the Sole Survivor would be a huge mistake. Not as huge as… well, you know, but huge nonetheless. Cirie did something pretty amazing in this last episode. She played EVERYONE. She played Terry into thinking she was voting for Aras. Played Aras and Danielle in convincing them to get rid of the person she wanted all along, Courtney. Played Shane in NOT telling him her plan (so he wouldn’t freak out and spoil everything). And, of course, played Courtney by voting her ass out of the game. Right after Melinda got booted, Cirie managed to stick around by simply laying low and staying out of arguments. Not anymore. She saw the chance to change the game and took it. And not only that, but she managed to do it without making any enemies. (Judging by next week’s clip, she appears able to easily lie Shane into submission.)

It was a risky move. Me like risky moves. Me also like it when contestants go crazy and start pretending they have wooden blackberries. (Speaking of crazy, I may sound a little nuts for asking this, but is Shane pregnant? Seriously, why is he always walking with his belly sticking out? I know Shane has been portrayed as the ”villain” this season, but he’s really more comical than evil. And remember that whole bit last week when he was voted the contestant who thinks they are running the game (but is not)? Seems pretty accurate now.

Wait, did someone say car? (I realize no one did, but I couldn’t figure out a way to make a smooth transition, so we’ll all just have to deal with that painfully awkward one.) The reward challenge itself was pretty cool, if for no other reason than to see Aras constantly fondling Cirie, and Jeff Probst ordering contestants to ”get your asses out of that water!” But I do have one problem with it. After Terry, Courtney, and Danielle won the challenge, they were pitted against each other to win a ”fully loaded 2007 GMC Yukon.” We all knew Terry was going to win because first off, he already wins that damn GMC Survivor of the Week award every episode. Secondly, he’s Terry and he wins absolutely everything. I don’t have a problem with Terry being the victor (although I do think he needs to tone down the celebrations a bit.) What I was hoping for, however, was for him to have to make a choice à la Cindy from Guatemala. Cindy kept her car instead of awarding everyone else one, and was promptly sent packing. I wonder what Terry would have done in that situation. We’ll never know (at least not until he’s on Survivor Live and I ask him), but we do know this: Not only does he need to keep defying the odds to win challenges, but he now needs to beat the dreaded Curse of the Car, although I guess it’s not so dreaded considering you get to take home a huge gas-guzzling tank as a consolation prize.

Speaking of challenges (granted, that transition wasn’t much better) — Hey, I was sick in bed all day and pumped full of drugs, what do you expect? — I found it interesting that the immunity challenge was a strength/endurance one, yet actually leveled the playing field by compensating for people’s body weight (although whether these were current or pregame weights was unclear). I also quite enjoyed the repeated shots of Danielle’s underarm hair — certainly not the body feature the cameras are usually focused on with her. In any event, Shane lasted all of 30 seconds, but then again, he’s pregnant, so I suppose we should cut him some slack. Courtney made a go of it, lasting 31 minutes but even though she was holding 20 pounds less than Robosurvivor II: The Sequel, Terry still pulled it out, leaving him —as Probst pointed out — as the ”only person to wear this necklace.” Maybe that’s because he’s so damn good. Or maybe it’s simply because nobody else wants to wear the ugly thing.

How much would we love to see a Terry Vs. Cirie final two. You’d have the person who has mastered the physical aspect the game versus the person who has mastered the social one. Both would be more than worthy. Which is why it will probably never happen. At this point I don’t know which of those two I would vote for, but I do know this: My girl Sally was looking fine on the jury last night, although I’m not exactly sure where she hid the batteries on that neon green top she was sporting. It may not be easy being green, but that doesn’t mean it’s not easy on the eyessssssssssssssssssss. (Whoops, sorry about that — some drool got stuck in my keyboard.)

What do you think? Will Terry break the car curse? Did Cirie make the move of the game? And what’s going on with Shane’s belly?