April 21, 2006 at 07:40 PM EDT

The pun is mightier than the sword. Or at least it’s supposed to be. And that’s why I was disappointed to see a lot of headline writers fall back on Dreamz fulfilled or Dreamz unrealized or sweet Dreamz cliches for their newspapers’ reviews of the new Hugh Grant-Dennis Quaid comedy American Dreamz. (EW gives it a B+). Then again, I suppose a tired attempt is better than no attempt at all, as we can see from the Detroit Free Press’s uninspired Terrorism meets ‘American Idol’ or Philadelphia Daily News’ achingly literal ‘American Dreamz’ billed as a comedy, but it’s not funny. Which is all the more reason to celebrate today’s five best titles, as follows:

1- The Patriot News: Chart Flopper: ‘Dreamz’ satire is a comic nightmare
2- St. Paul Pioneer Press: Name that tone
3- Los Angeles Daily News: What if the president called you ‘Dawg’?
4- New York Sun: American Cheese
5- This Is London: Reality fails to bite

And finally, let’s recognize the Akron Beacon Journal, whose headline may not be all that, but uses an adjective that never fails to make me grin: Tiresome script wastes cheeky idea.

Cheeky. Heh.

addCredit(“American Dreamz: Glen Wilson”)

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