Brad Pitt: The sexiest urban planner alive

Move over, Robert Moses: There’s something leaner. It’s Brad Pitt, Urban Planner! He’s going to rebuild New Orleans: better, stronger, faster, drier.

Okay, so it’s not just Pitt and a shovel. The passably handsome gentleman is sponsoring a competition for architectural designs and urban planning ideas to replace neighborhoods decimated by Katrina. He’s working with group called Green Global USA, but you can bet the man who once told Vanity Fair, “Give me anything and I’ll design it,” is going to have a say.

So what would Pitt City look like? I’m guessing it would start with a strong core, maybe a rippling commercial district and a rock-hard downtown. Pitt would fight flab in the lower wards with a stripped-down residential layout, really exposing the city’s flattering frame. In the upper wards, he’d take a muscular approach to growth. He’d certainly attract plenty of investment from neighboring Angelinaville, which hasn’t had a sustained trade relationship since cutting off relations with BillyBobsburg. At any rate, Pitt City would no doubt be a gorgeous Platonic polity, eliciting sighs and squeals from tourists and residents alike. Its butt would undoubtedly be voted Nicest District of any Municipality.

Anyway, that’s how imagine it. It’s idealized, of course. But whatever the outcome, it’s guaranteed be an improvement on Pitt’s shaky first draft: Pittsburgh.

addCredit(“Brad Pitt: Reuters”)