Who’d have predicted same-day births for the daughters of Tom Cruise and his summer 2005 antagonist Brooke Shields (pictured)? That’s the kind of coincidence that makes Vegas oddsmakers guzzle Mylanta like it was Poland Spring water. But the bookmakers we know have responded quickly to Tuesday’s special deliveries and revealed the betting stats for several potential milestones in the lives of little Suri (Cruise and Katie Holmes’ newborn) and little Grier (Shields and Chris Henchy’s baby). It’s never too early to get in on the action.

Odds that Grier will inspire Shields to write a book, like the birth of older sibling Rowan did: 5 to 1
Odds that Suri’s mom had an epidural: 200 to 1
Odds that Grier’s mom will embark on a regimen of psychotherapy and prescriptions to combat postpartum depression: 5 to 2
Odds that Suri’s mom will do the same: 500,000 to 1
Odds that Grier will star in Mom’s next TV movie of the week: 12 to 1
Odds that Suri will appear in Mission: Impossible IV: 10 to 1
Odds that both Grier and Suri will be teased on the playground over their names: 1 to 2
Odds that Grier will be mortified when she comes across old ads of her mom letting nothing come between herself and her Calvins: 3 to 2
Odds that Suri will be mortified when she comes across footage of her dad dancing to Bob Seger in his tighty-whities in Risky Business: 2 to 1
Odds that Grier and Suri will have a playdate or a slumber party five years from now: 2,000 to 1
Odds that Grier and Suri would be born on the same day: 1,000,000,000,000 to 1
Odds of same, adjusted for karma: Even

addCredit(“Brooke Shields: Tammie Arroyo/AP”)