TV's funniest quotes: Pick this week's best

”Allegra? Ain’t that a cold medicine?”
CHRISTOPHER (MICHAEL IMPERIOLI), AT THE WEDDING OF ALLEGRA SACRIMONI (CAITLIN VAN ZANDT), ON THE SOPRANOS

”Coke is launching Coca-Cola Black…a soda that blends Coke, natural flavors, and coffee essence. Just like your garbage disposal.”
TINA FEY, ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

”If this was America’s Next Top Trout, this would be a keeper.”
JUDGE NIGEL BARKER, ARGUING THAT A SCREEN GRAB FROM BROOKE’S COVER GIRL COMMERCIAL MADE HER RESEMBLE A FISH, ON AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL

”The New York Post is reporting that on a recent airplane flight, Sharon Stone sat in a different section than her nine-month-old baby. When asked why they were seated separately, the baby said three words: ‘Basic Instinct 2.’ ”
CONAN O’BRIEN, ON LATE NIGHT

”Supermodel Naomi Campbell has been charged with assault for allegedly hitting her housekeeper with a cell phone. If convicted, Campbell could face up to 7000 minutes in jail, including nights and weekends.”
DAVID SPADE, ON THE SHOWBIZ SHOW

”Ryan, with respect, I’m not the one trying to look like someone out of Desperate Housewives.”
SIMON COWELL, TALKING ABOUT RYAN SEACREST’S BEARD, ON AMERICAN IDOL