According to this report, terror haunts the Sony lot. It is a hair-shaped fear. It is Tom Hanks’ McVinci.

The McVinci, you may remember, is the name our very own Michael Slezak bestowed upon the misbegotten mane Hanks grew for The Da Vinci Code. The apparent aim was to make him look more scholarly. Well, maybe… if his character, iconography expert Robert Langdon, also holds a degree in advanced skeeze-ology.

Now, according to shockingly unsubstantiated rumors, there’s a worry in the corporate office that Hanks’ mop may turn off potential Code-goers. So let’s tally up the Da Vinci-related acrimony to date: There’s the religious scandal, the copyright scandal, and now the hair scandal. Wow, for a merely competent thriller sporting a couple of faux-erudite flourishes, this little yarn has sure raised a lot of hell.

Here’s the bigger question: Why hasn’t Hanks himself mercy-killed that muskrat yet? Might he actually (shudder) like it? Or does his contract state that he can’t part with it? Did I just try to make a “part” pun and fail miserably? You tell me!