On ''Survivor,'' the outnumbered La Mina tribe keeps trying to cut a deal while losing a member every week
Credit: Austin Carty: Monty Brinton

”Survivor”: La Mina fights the inevitable

”These snails are like members of La Mina — slimy and hard to get out.” —Aras

Actually, Aras, they don’t seem hard to get out at all. In fact, they appear to be departing at an alarmingly regular rate. Dare I say La Mina has looked positively Ulongian so far this season? I even keep half expecting to see Ibrehem or Redneck James milling about and losing at something. The difference is, at least this new crew isn’t going down without a fight. Terry, Sally, and Austin were the final three in the immunity challenge, which Terry won — again. And not only that, but Terry redeemed himself for his lame-ass sales pitch last week with a legitimately enticing offer for Bruce and Danielle — even offering Danielle the hidden immunity idol if she would switch sides. (Danielle made her own enticing offer in the shot of her bending down during the reward challenge, picking up one pair of coconuts while showing off another.)

Danielle didn’t switch, but how much do we all want her to? How priceless would the look on Aras’ face have been had he been sent packing? Nick said on cbs.com’s Survivor Live last week that Aras was totally running that tribe, and ladies and gentlemen, Nick may have confused the bejesus out of all of us with his wavy-gravy parting words last week, but Nick is no liar, as Aras’ attitude in this episode clearly revealed. In my book, no one with a ridiculous-looking faux-hawk (what year is this anyway, 2002?) has earned the right to be that bossy.

First, during the reward challenge, he started barking out instructions to another team! Then, when his trio won and were told they could select two people to go to Exile Island, guess who piped up and said he alone would make the decision: Aras! And then he had the gall — the absolute gall! — to try to get his tribemates to vote off my girl Sally. How dare he! And especially after she had her best episode ever. She won the reward challenge, just missed out on immunity, and even got Terry to spill his secret about having the hidden immunity idol. No way you can vote out my pre-game pick for winner after a showing like that. Okay, she did do a little too much bragging about how much food she ate at her soggy breakfast in bed, which is never a good idea. And I’m not sure what the hell was going on with her letting Bruce rub her tummy. (Damn you, Bruce, you lucky bastard!) But compared to the days when she was losing fishing spears and sucking in challenges, my girl’s come a long way.

As for Austin, I think Aras was a little harsh in describing him as a ”slimeball.” Sure, the guy had some digestive problems and a bizarre man crush on Terry, and he made up a random story about throwing an immunity challenge that he honestly had no shot of winning anyway, but ”slimeball” seems a bit much. Plus, it really seemed like he went through absolute hell on Exile Island. True, he was lucky enough to have Danielle and her coconuts for a little company, but that place sucks enough without rain. Toss in some torrential downpours and you’re truly bummin’. I’m sure Austin also wasn’t too psyched that Jeff Probst appeared to be cracking up as he brought his torch up to be extinguished. Maybe Probst was still chuckling at seeing Shane sprint up to the voting booth for no apparent reason. Those of you with the episode on tape or DVR, check it out, and you’ll see what I mean. And to those of you wondering if I ever got off my lazy ass and ordered a DVR for home, the answer is…no.

What do you think? Should Danielle and Bruce have switched sides? Do Sally and Terry stand a chance? And where do you stand on the all-important faux-hawk issue?