Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes
Credit: Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise: Seth Browarnik/

PW1: you seen all the crap this week about whether or not katie holmes is really pregnant?

PW2: yeah, or if she’s just sporting a massive beach ball under her shirt or something?

PW1: is it wrong that I laughed at defamer’s take on things?

PW2: you’re a bad person.

PW1: i wonder how tomkat’s pr people will handle this?

PW2: delivery room access for access hollywood!

PW1: not likely, at least based on those reports about “silent births” — that nancy o’dell is a real chatterbox