Jessica Simpson

This report, saying that Jessica Simpson will be bouncing up and down the beach as a lifeguard in a big-screen Baywatch movie smells bogus to us at PopWatch, but it’s an idea that’s just witless enough to be plausible. After all our discussions about remakes, it’s dispiriting to think that this is the best career move anyone in Hollywood can come up with for Simpson. About the only thing saving her from a life of big-screen remakes is the fact that Charlie’s Angels and The Beverly Hillbillies have already been done. (Playing Elly May in the Hillbillies movie was Erika Eleniak, who was, of course, a Baywatch alumna. The circle of life, dear readers.)

Can’t we please think outside the halter top for Simpson? If she has to do a remake, how about the Angie Dickinson part in Police Woman? If she’s just going to be the Hot Babe, at least make her a Hot Babe with a Gun.