By Scott Brown
Updated April 05, 2006 at 04:44 PM EDT

Katie Couric announced she is leaving Today to anchor the CBS Evening News. Scott Brown woke at the crack o’ to live-blog it for you. Herewith, the emotions come pouring out of his tear-stained keyboard:

7:00 a.m. EDT Tom De Lay, an accused Homeland Securitypederast, evil Muppets… but no announcement yet! I’m alreadyjonesing. Hey, Matt Lauer appears to be telling me how to slip roofies.Am I awake?

7:02 Katie promises “top stories” with a smirk, knowing full well she’s the topmost!

7:04 A Transportation Safety Agency official isaccused of soliciting sex from minors on the Internet. The pat-downpolicy now becomes clear… but the connection to Katy is hazy.

7:05 Ann Curry looks tired. Was she up all night crying? Celebrating?

7:06 Roker tells of rare rain in Southern California. Do I detect a hint of symbolism?

7:07 Is it just me, or is Katie’s lipstick evenshinier than usual? Also: the departure of De Lay and the departure ofKatie — related?

7:11 Matt Lauer discusses “the taint of scandal.” Heis not discussing Katie’s colonoscopy, but Tom De Lay. Pat Buchananlooks more haggardly tendentious than usual — and has nothing to sayabout Katie. I drift.

7:13 Katie says, “There are no atheists in foxholes.”Is she discussing Bush’s religious presidency… or God’s will vis-a-visher imminent departure?

7:15 Still no announcement. Maybe she’s staying.

7:20 Sesame Street DVDs… am I hurting my baby? Do I even have one? It’s early.

7:22 Dancing diet Jell-O commercial. I’m so glad I usually miss this part of the day.

7:23 Some shots of signs outside Rock Center. None mention Katie.

7:30 It begins! Cute 15-year-old banter between Katie and Gumbel — this, clearly, was the peak of their warmth.

7:31 Matt announces that Katie holds the record forlongest host of the Today show. Katie announces the historic passage of 172 hairstylesago. And now, the quote roundup:

“After listening to my heart and my gut… I’ve decided I’ll be leaving at the end of May.”
“I know I don’t know the vast majority of you personally…”
“The notion that we’re a family is not just some cheesy promotional device…”
“Once in a while we get on each other’s nerves…”
On Lauer: “As Dorothy said to the scarecrow, I think I’m going to miss him most of all.”
“It’s not goodbye, not yet…”

7:34 Lauer doesn’t allow her to get away without sayingwhere she’s going. Katie reports “the worst-kept secret in America” andconfirms she’ll be “working on the CBS Evening News and 60 Minutes…” She also assures her Today family that, by the end of May, “you’regonna be so sick of me.”

7:36 Roker announces hell has frozen over.

7:42 On the couch, Couric glows in white, whileeveryone else looks like they’re at a funeral. I expect an ascension,but instead I get held-back tears and a short wave.

And… scene! Coming up next: Panty hose!

Who will replace Couric? Stay tuned…

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