By Scott Brown
Updated April 04, 2006 at 12:00 PM EDT
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In what is indisputably the Story That Keeps on Giving, respected Indian director T. Rajeevnath continues to insist that he <a href=”http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20060403/ennew_afp/afpentertainmentindiafilmparishilton_060403135629
“>intends to cast Paris Hilton (pictured) as Mother Teresa in an upcoming biopic. Says his computer matched her facial structure perfectly with the Albanian nun’s. (Really? Who says Indian technology is overtaking the West?) In fact, he says he’s scheduled a meeting with her at the end of the month.

In honor of this heavenly development, PopWatch presents some other wildly inappropriate inspired casting choices:

TOM CRUISE as… SIGMUND FREUD
This one comes courtesy the blogfather. And I have to admire the irony: Cruise has called psychoanalysis “Nazi science”; Freud would’ve called Cruise mein klein doofus, or “my little doofus.” The stage is set for the most piquant actor-subject tension since Osama bin Laden played Tevye in a 10th grade production of Fiddler on the Roof.

CARROT TOP as… the REV. DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.
Now hear me out! The bone structure matches — my computer says so! Also: This isn’t well known, but some of King’s best speeches were delivered using prop comedy. For example, just before the cameras flipped on for the “I Have a Dream” speech, he’s rumored to have warmed up the crowd with “the J. Edgar Hoover punching bag,” which was, in fact, a punching bag wearing an ill-fitting sundress and a badge. Witnesses say the joke killed.

SEANN WILLIAM SCOTT as… PRESIDENT ABRAHAM LINCOLN
No one else is capable of capturing the man’s gravity, his dignity, and his secret love of fart jokes.

Got other suggestions? I’m opening the floor.

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