The ground rules were made abundantly clear outside the latest Hollywood awards show Saturday night. “No Britney questions!” admonished a publicist chaperoning Jamie Lynn Spears. “She’s not talking about Nick!” came a similar warning from a rep for Laguna Beach’s Kristin Cavalleri, said to be dating Nick Lachey. Lindsay Lohan briefly spoke with one TV crew but was quickly whisked away by handlers.

Just another night in Tinseltown? Kind of, but this tabloid-tilted affair was actually the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards, a talent magnet like few others for an industry always eager for a low-risk photo-op. Casually attired and liberated by low expectations of the fan-voted popularity contest, an impressive roster of names filed down the orange carpet, tinted to match the Nick logo. Among them: Will Smith, Cameron Diaz, Justin Timberlake, Nelly, Hugh Jackman, Chris Rock, Adam Sandler, Jessica Alba (pictured), Ludacris, Robin Williams, and Whoopi Goldberg. Jack Black hosted.

Stars hummed along in such relentless promo mode that actual scoops were scarce and the feel was decidedly press junket-like. “It’s kick-ass funny!” Robin Williams actually said about his upcoming road movie RV. Fitting, then, that Nickelodeon picked the funnyman to be the celebrity drenched in green glop onstage in the show’s annual “sliming” ritual, joining past honorees like Tom Cruise, Johnny Depp, and Jim Carrey.

Smith, who won Favorite Movie Actor prize (Lohan took the Actress trophy), told EW he was looking forward to Tonight He Comes, a superhero satire filming this summer: “It is one of the most bizarre scripts I have ever read. It’s so wonderfully awkward and funny and heartwarming. It’s one of those where the statement is true — ‘you’ll laugh; you’ll cry.’” Alba also has summer superhero plans, ready to reprise her role as Sue Storm in Fantastic Four 2. “It’s going to be an amped-up version, like the first one on steroids, like X2,” she said. “It’s going to be a different storyline because now that we’ve established the characters we can go into more of the comic book stuff. So we’re bringing in new characters and there’s going to be some interesting casting.” Like Keanu Reeves playing Silver Surfer, as isrumored online? “Just… interesting,” she smiled.

David Spade, Rob Schneider, and Jon Heder represented their impending baseball comedy, The Benchwarmers, but Spade said nothing from the day would be repurposed as a bit on his Comedy Central series The Showbiz Show. In what passed for a display of restraint, Spade explained: “I didn’t want to make my show too much of an infomercial.”

addCredit(“Jessica Alba: Jesse Grant/”)