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Tori Spelling
Credit: SO NOTORIOUS: Danielle Levitt

Remember the good old days, when animated animals sang Elton John songs in an idealized Africa? “The ciiiiiiircuhhhle! The circle of… liiiiiiiiiife!” But to everything, there is a season. Seasons change. Metaphors too. This weekend, when you move your clocks forward, meditate on your mortality, and the tectonic shifting of life’s plates under your tiny human feet. Meditate on that — and think of PopWatch!

If you haven’t gotten around to snagging the Six Feet Under Fifth Season DVD (in stores now), here’s a link to the haunting final six minutes of the series finale, which shows how each of the main characters will die.
<a href=”http://youtube.com/watch?v=Or0sDw4qGIY&search=six feet under
Sunday will be a big night for your TiVo:

-Look for a rumored bow-out from Leo (Mrs. Landingham-style) on The West Wing‘s Election Night episode at 8 p.m. on NBC. (Rest in peace, John Spencer.)

-The birth of a new season of Huff starts at 10 p.m. on Showtime. Tell me what you think, because I’m going to be washing my Sopranos dishes.

-Also at 10: A surprisingly game roman a clef sitcom from Tori Spelling (pictured), called so noTORIous, premieres on VH1 Sunday eve. EW gives it a B+.

On the very-much-alive side of things: Pink! Her new album I’m Not Dead, comes out Tuesday, but in the meantime, tide yourself over with the hilarious video for “Stupid Girls,” in which she lines ’em up — Jessica, Lindsay, Paris, et. al. — and takes ’em down.

Feel a midlife crisis coming on? Before you boink your trainer and buy a Porsche, try some Alternatives to Sex, a book about a gay Realtor managing post-9/11 depression and a troubling case of middle-aged promiscuity. EW’s Jennifer Reese gives it an A.

The dead speak through the living in The Boy Who Fell Out of the Sky. It’s a “memoir” of the author’s brother, who died in the Pan Am Flight 103 bombing.

Oh, and if you’re looking to carbon-date not just your body but your maturity level, test your reactions to Joblo.com’s 10 Best ’80s Movie Music Videos, including Cyndi Lauper’s Goonies theme song and the Kenny Loggins heartstring-tugger “Danger Zone” from Top Gun. The production values, the blogfather assures me, are “through-the-floor!”

Be safe out there, kids. A tip: Know what really makes you feel alive? Shoot an animated, idealized, singing African animal. Really gets the sap rising.

addCredit(“SO NOTORIOUS: Danielle Levitt”)