TV's funniest lines from March 13 to 19. Read the expanded online-only version of our favorite quips, then vote for the best quote

By EW Staff
March 22, 2006 at 05:00 AM EST

”Oh please, she’s over 40. Like anyone was even looking.”
MARC (MICHAEL URIE), SUMMING UP SHARON STONE AT THE GOLDEN GLOBES, ON UGLY BETTY

”Andrea…is a better model of me. Like, I’m R2-D2, and she’d be R2-D2345.”
GOIL, ON HIS COMPETITION, ON TOP DESIGN

”Lance Bass is reportedly writing a tell-all autobiography called Out of Sync. The book will center around the challenge of being gay in the macho world of boy bands.”
DAVID SPADE ON THE SHOWBIZ SHOW WITH DAVID SPADE

”The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inducted some new members yesterday….Van Halen was inducted, but the only members of the band who showed up were Sammy Hagar and Michael Anthony. This is like Pac-Man winning a videogame award and only Inky and a cherry show up.”
JIMMY KIMMEL ON JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE

”That would never happen, because I found out that his nickname in the U.K. is Small Ben.”
PAULA ABDUL, ON WHETHER SHE’D HAVE SEX WITH SIMON COWELL, ON LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN

”In an interview with 60 Minutes, American Idol judge Simon Cowell said that he was once offered $100,000 to watch a couple have sex and then critique their lovemaking. But then, at the last minute, Paula and Randy changed their minds.”
AMY POEHLER ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

”The California legislature announced that they have moved their state’s presidential primary from June to February. When asked why, a California lawmaker said, ‘Because it’s really fun to hear Governor Schwarzenegger try to say ‘February.”’
CONAN O’BRIEN ON LATE NIGHT

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