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Want to be an American Idol, but don’t quite have Fantasia-level talent? Love karaoke, but find there’s not enough humiliation performing only for your friends and neighborhood barflies? Then you’re probably a good candidate for Google Idol and YouTube Idol, where average folks show off their talents (or lack thereof) for lip-synching and home cinematography, and audiences vote for their favorites — without having to endure the inane patter of Ryan Seacrest. I’m particularly fond of Rockin the Bury’s ”The Final Countdown” at Google, and BeasyLuvinu’s hella twisted ”My Humps” at YouTube, but I’m telling you, once I complete costumes and choreography for my own rendition of ”Goldfinger,” the competition is pretty much over.

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