I’d heard that Friday’s season finale of Battlestar Galactica was pretty mind-blowing, but holy frack! Seems like this season’s slow-burn plots got tricked out with FTL drives, because suddenly we jumped a year ahead to a whole new scary place, where Gaius Baltar (James Callis, left) is president, Starbuck is hitched, the colonial survivors are living in postapocalyptic refugee camps, and — gasp! — Lee looks like a chubbier Bill Paxton.

But let’s back up a minute. Roslin tried to prevent all these travesties by fixing the election — and though Adama (and even Gaius) seemed surprised she would go so far to retain the presidency, I didn’t raise an eyebrow. The writers made Roslin steelier this season — it seemed like every episode she threatened to throw someone out the airlock, and then there’s all the duplicity surrounding the Helo/Sharon baby. Clearly Roslin would do anything to ensure human survival, and that includes protecting her people from a man she saw frolicking with Number Six just before the initial nuclear attacks on the colonies.

But then Gaeta, that damn dirty cylon (yeah, that’s right, I said it!), had to go and be all ”noble.” He reported Roslin’s vote-tampering and the gig was up: Gaius was sworn in, his cylon lover promptly blew up Cloud 9, and the dream of permanent settlement on New Caprica became a nightmare. When, after a year, the cylons came back to take over (as I knew they eventually would, despite the no-harm-no-foul promises from preacher-bot), President Baltar — whom I half expected to lift his head, Scarface-style, from a mound of cocaine at any moment — folded like a cheap suit. And as I watched that final scene of the toasters marching in formation through the camp, all I could think was, May the Gods help them all.

Burning questions:

1. Anyone suspect Starbuck’s new husband, Anders, has more than a case of pneumonia?

2. Anybody get the feeling Tyrol hasn’t exorcised his personal demons? (I’m still shuddering over that whole Cally pummeling.)

3. Does no one in the age of New Caprica have a pair of scissors? (See Adama’s weird mustache, Starbuck’s too-long hair, Lee’s dad-cut…)

4. Can I possibly survive the next few months without a new episode?