The 10 hottest topics for the week of March 17, 2006

By Dalton Ross
March 10, 2006 at 05:00 AM EST

1 Desperate Housewives fragrance in the works Just tell me you haven’t been pining away for eau de Mrs. McCluskey.

2 Macaulay Culkin considered a career in sports management It was his little way of saying, ”Show me the money! Any money.”

3 Indian filmmaker wraps entire movie in 2 hours, 14 minutes Okay, here’s what I did in the past 134 minutes. 9 mins.: Heated up soup. 18 mins.: Ate soup. 42 mins.: Debated whether soup is something that you eat or drink. 1 min.: Read item about Indian filmmaker. 64 mins.: Cried into soup.

4 Dave Chappelle calls Comedy Central’s plans to air his unfinished season a ”bully move” Yeah, but aren’t bullies supposed to punish people for running away? I mean, that’s what they do.

5 Big Love debuts on HBO Invite a few ladies over to watch. You never know, they might end up…inspired.

6 Hayden Christensen wins Razzie award for portrayal of Darth Vader A Razzie? Are you kidding me? He acted out the best ”Noooooooooooo!” by a Sith lord ever. You think Darth Maul could pull that one off? Homeboy got sliced in half and didn’t say jack. (Although, with James Earl around, I suppose technically neither did Christensen.)

7 Mariah Carey launches new jewelry and accessories line that says, ”Wear it & you’ll be Hot Tamale” Fine, but does that mean someone is going to bite me? And if they do, am I supposed to ”bite right back”?

8 Kid Rock calls Scott Stapp an ”idiot” Pot. Kettle. Black.

9 Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood: What Do You Do With the Mad That You Feel on DVD Me? I put on a big black suit and yell ”Noooooooooooo!” at the top of my lungs.

10 Charmed canceled All spells wear off at some point.