America's Next Top Model
Credit: America's Next Top Model: Jim DeYonder/UPN

There are 12 girls still in the running to become America’s Next Top Model, and that means not only will I be socially unavailable on Wednesday nights for the next three months, I’ll also be humming the catchy ”Na na na na na na” theme song every day on my way to work. (Trust me: It puts an extra spring in your step!) Anyhow, here are five questions that popped into my head during last night’s intriguing two-hour premiere:

1. Why would a homophobe apply to the g-g-g-g-gayest show on television? Seriously, I just about had an aneurysm when Dani burst onto the scene with her opening salvo: ”I don’t like gay people, I don’t like Muslims, I don’t like abortions. I don’t like anything liberal… but other than that, I really like to get along with people.” Oh, how I was praying we’d get a few minutes of Ty-rage (remember how she exploded on Cycle 4’s Tiffany?), but instead, the judges panel let her off with some softball questions and a trip to the top 20. (Miss J, how could you?) I know they were probably trying to create some they-wouldn’t-let-her-through-would-they? suspense, but an old-school, earrings-off smackdown would’ve made for more memorable TV.

2. Doesn’t it make life easier when some of the wannabes resemble celebrities? As Mr. J pointed out, Kari indeed looks like a Bratz doll (although she also bears startling resemblance to Angelina Jolie’s character in Shark Tale). Wendy, meanwhile, reminds me of Jennifer Beals, and Mollie Sue could be the love child of Debi Mazar and Pink.

3. Have none of these girls ever watched the show before? Because if they had, they’d know there’s room for only one massive diva ego on the Top Model set, and it belongs to Miss Banks. Prepare for some brutal confidence-crushing, Jade (”I am the undiscovered supermodel”). And the same to you, Furonda (”I am the frontrunner”). Oh wait, Tyra took care of that with her withering comments during the eliminations. Awesome!

4. Why, Gina? Just why?

5. Is there any woman who can beat the flawless Nnenna? Well, maybe there’s one — and her name is Danielle (pictured). Granted, she might not know what “regal” means, but she shouldn’t be surprised to find her photo next to the word when she looks it up in the dictionary. Plus, any gal who can utter a line like ”I don’t look too bad as a bald chick. That’s kinda hot,” is one I can root for all season long.

What did you think of last night’s premiere, PopWatchers?

Episode Recaps

Trya Banks
America's Next Top Model

Tyra Banks searches for the next great supermodel

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