Cutting Edge 2: Going for the Gold

Dear Cutting Edge 2: Going for the Gold, you make the original 1992 movie — about moody ice princess Kate (Moira Kelly), who falls for macho hockey player Doug (D.B. Sweeney) — look like an intricately plotted masterpiece. See, I have to pretend to hate you for a while before I ultimately declare my love (preferably as we perform a climactic Olympic figure-skating routine). That is, after all, what happened in the original slumber-party classic…and in ABC Family’s sequel (premiering March 12, 7 p.m.), which follows the romance of Kate and Doug’s daughter, Jackie (Christy Carlson Romano), and her skating partner, Alex (Ross Thomas). Here’s everything that’s so wrong — and yet so right — about Going for the Gold.

NO CAMEOS!
Kelly and Sweeney are AWOL; we’re forced to accept Stepfanie Kramer and Scott Thompson Baker as now-coach Kate and now-skating commentator Doug.

NO SENSE OF HISTORY
Doug and Kate took the gold in ’92; Gold culminates this year in Torino. Even if Jackie was conceived the night Doug and Kate won, she’d only be 14. (Romano is 21.) Meanwhile, extreme in-line skater Alex drinks, so he’s, presumably, 21 (this is ABC Family, after all). As for Jackie and Alex’s meet-cute, Mom and Dad never say, ”Weird, this totally happened to us, too!”

NO CATCHPHRASE
”Toe pick!” Can’t beat that.

In summary, Gold, your triple jumps have nothing on that physics-defying Pamchenko that sealed the deal for Doug and Kate. But we can’t deny the irresistible pull of a story about a mismatched pair thawing each other’s hearts while the camera cuts to wide shots because they’re clearly not doing their own skating. In guilty- pleasure merit, a solid 5.0.