TV's funniest lines from Feb. 14 to 20. Read the expanded online-only version of our favorite quips, then vote for the best quote

By EW Staff
February 25, 2006 at 05:00 AM EST
Jacob Underwood: Soren McCarty/WireImage.com

”We’re building your living room floor.”
O-TOWN’S JACOB UNDERWOOD TO A FAN, WHEN ASKED WHY HE AND ASHLEY WERE WORKING AT A CONSTRUCTION SITE, ON THERE & BACK: ASHLEY PARKER ANGEL

”Choking back some McVomit.”
GEORGE (T.R. KNIGHT), AFTER THE FEMALE INTERNS DUB THE VISITING SURGEON (ERIC DANE) ”DR. McSTEAMY,” ON GREY’S ANATOMY

”We do also have iPods with lots of Toto, Survivor, Whitesnake. Just if you want to feel worse.”
NURSE CONNIE (RANDI LYNNE) TO DANA (ERIN DANIELS), WHILE SHE’S UNDERGOING CHEMOTHERAPY, ON THE L WORD

”So the baby would still look like us, but I wouldn’t have stretch marks. It’s a win-win.”
GABRIELLE (EVA LONGORIA), DESCRIBING THE BENEFITS OF USING A SURROGATE MOTHER, ON DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES

”Are we allowed?”
SIMON COWELL, AFTER CONTESTANT KATHARINE McPHEE ATTEMPTED TO KISS HIM ON THE LIPS, ON AMERICAN IDOL

”Hold on a second….Jon, I’m being told Whittington’s condition has now been upgraded from ‘stable’ to ‘stable, but still shot in the face by the vice president.’ ”
ED HELMS, FAKE REPORTING ON THE HEALTH OF HARRY WHITTINGTON FROM ”OUTSIDE A HOSPITAL IN CORPUS CHRISTI, TEXAS,” ON THE DAILY SHOW

”To the vice president’s credit, he did own up to it. On Fox News he said the fault was his. He can’t blame anyone else. Boy, it’s amazing. The only time you get accountability out of this administration is when they are actually holding a smoking gun.”
BILL MAHER, ON REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER

”He sat down for a one-on-one with Fox News. Very bold choice. Dick Cheney sitting down with Fox News is like Mrs. Butterworth sitting down with the Pancake Channel.”
JIMMY KIMMEL, ON JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE

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