Beatlemaniacs know that the Fab Four got their start in the smoky clubs of Hamburg’s notorious Red Light District, but the area has always been better known for beer and brothels than its musical legacy. I always admired the Reeperbahn’s amoral integrity in that respect: It was sketchy, filthy, and cheap… but it was never Graceland.

But in a country with more than 10 percent unemployment, even sailors and hedonists are less likely to dole out cash for a taste of the local wares, and desperate times call for desperate, tourist-baiting measures. Der Spiegel reports that plans for “Beatles Square” are already under way. The square will “resemble an LP record” and feature life-size glass statues of the group members. The city is hoping the square will revive the area, but must they resort to such conspicuous tackiness? In a neighborhood like this, the statue will surely be a magnet for grafitti and drunken, extremely undignified photo ops. Help!