By Michael Slezak
February 10, 2006 at 12:00 PM EST

How much do critics hate Harrison Ford’s new save-my-family-in-peril flick, Firewall? Let us count the headlines, shall we?

How come nobody invoked the Lemon Law?
South Florida Sun-Sentinel: Ford vehicle rusty with clichés
Christian Science Monitor: ‘Firewall’ isn’t built Ford tough
Boston Globe: Dependable Ford covers old ground in ‘Firewall’

Typecast much?
Miami Herald: Harrison Ford returns to the screen as (gasp!) Harrison Ford
San Jose Mercury News: Harrison Ford defends his family (again!) in slow burning Firewall
Detroit Free Press: Harrison Ford to the rescue — again

Does. Not. Compute.
Slate: Hackers and Hacks: ‘Firewall’ is a high-tech catastrophe
Lawrence Journal-World: ‘Firewall’ can’t prevent cinematic hack job
New York Daily News: ‘Firewall’ no protection from clichés

Rock of Ageism
Washington Post: Harrison Ford’s ‘Firewall’: Jack Be Feeble, Jack Be Stiff
UCSD Guardian: With ‘Firewall,’ Harrison Ford Makes His Case That Maybe He’s Too Old For This Stuff

Whoa. Theses dudes are even dissing the trailer!
Houston Chronicle: It feels tired and predictable even before you see it