-Get ready for Mr. & Mrs. Smith: The TV Series. Doug Liman, who directed the film, tells Us Weekly that he and Smith screenwriter Simon Kinberg are adapting the married-assassins movie for television, and that they plan to have a nationwide casting search to find a small-screen Brangelina to star in it. Don’t worry; the stars will not be required to break up their marriages or adopt children together.

-Rosie O’Donnell tells that she’s developing a sitcom pilot with novelist Alice Hoffman (Practical Magic), in which Rosie would play an Erma Bombeck-like newspaper columnist whose ex-husband and son move in with her. Also, she’s a lesbian and has Six Feet Under-style conversations with her deceased lover, who succumbed to breast cancer. She says she envisions Colin Quinn as the ex-hubby and ”a Sharon Gless-type” for the late lover. No word on whether the newspaper column will be written in lowercase free verse.

-Funniest comedian on the planet Eddie Izzard will be playing it straight in a drama pilot for FX called Lowlife. He and Minnie Driver will play married con artists who try to settle down with their three kids in suburban Baton Rouge. Aw, c’mon, haven’t the good people of Louisiana been victimized enough already?