By Michael Slezak
Updated January 19, 2006 at 12:00 PM EST

It’s not that I’m sadistic, but after enduring weeks of previews for Fox’s Skating With Celebrities, I have to ask: Where’s the carnage? I thought we’d see at least a few spectacular crashes during last night’s season premiere. Instead, the closest thing to disaster was Todd Bridges’ nicely masked stumble that somehow got incorporated into his routine with pro Jenni Meno. I thought Bridges was a hoot, and considerably more entertaining than Full House Star Dave Coulier and partner Nancy Kerrigan (who looked a little wobbly to me), but somehow, the judges praised the latter duo, putting them in second, while sticking Bridges and Meno all the way down in fifth. But maybe that’s just my untrained eye failing me.

The two things you can’t dispute about the show, however, are that Fox NFL announcer Jillian Barberie looks like a shoo-in for the gold, and that judge Sir John Nicks is no Simon Cowell. In fact, with lame-o one-liners like: “Would you rather have a hockey stick in your hand or Nancy?” he’s not even the next Paula Abdul.

What did you think of Skating With Celebrities? And do you plan to watch Episode 2?