By Michael Slezak
Updated January 17, 2006 at 06:15 AM EST

(Michael Slezak live-blogged the Golden Globes. Relive the fun!)

8:04 p.m. The horrible theme song — set toPussycat Dolls’ “Don’t Cha” — included the line: “Hannibal Lecter islicking his lips to taste the Cecil B.”

8:09 p.m. Paul Giamatti is so not a movie star. And I mean that as the best kind of compliment.

8:11 p.m. I don’t care if you’re a Democrat or a Republican, George Clooney’s Jack Abramoff joke was frickin’ hilarious.

8:13 p.m. I’m psyched Rachel Weisz won, but shouldn’t Michelle Williams get something for having a career post-Dawson’s Creek?

8:20 p.m. Hey! It’s the new Superman, Brandon Routh, presenting with Teri Hatcher. Aw, poor Dean Cain. On second thought, isn’t Superman supposed to have charisma? Maybe he’s saving it all for the movie.

8:22 p.m. No matter what else happens tonight, I’m going to bed happy: Sandra Oh got the Globe she so richly deserved for Grey’s Anatomy, and she rocked it at the podium, too. Yay! Seriously!

8:29 p.m.
Is it so wrong that I don’t care for Emmy Rossum’s bright-eyed charms?

8:33 p.m.
Phooey! I guess Geena Davis’ Globe win for Commander in Chief means the end of her hopes for Olympic archery gold.

8:34 p.m. Using “Funniest. Acceptance Speech. Ever.” is socliché. But how else to describe Davis’ made-up riff on the little girlwho got inspired to try to be president from watching Commander in Chief? Those comedy actresses better be ready to step it up.

8:41 p.m. Did I just experience a technical difficulty or didMelanie Griffith get bleeped presenting her daughter, Dakota Johnson,this year’s Miss Golden Globe?

8:49 Um, Empire Falls dude, you just won a Golden Globe. No need to allude to your own work as “creative and original and provocative.” We get it.

8:50 p.m. Pamela Anderson’s dress. No words.

8:51 p.m. Either Steve Carell knows from good acceptance speeches, or else his wife does.

8:59 p.m. I didn’t know Jamie Foxx was a Corey Hart fan. All together now: “I wear my sunglasses at night, so I can, so I can…”

9:01 p.m. What’s Shirley MacLaine doing with the Witherspoon-Phillippe clan?

9:03 p.m. “I want everybody to relax. You only have to benice to black people for two more hours.” I wish Chris Rockwas that funny at the Oscars.

9:05 p.m. Mary Louise Parker! Hey, we totally called that!

9:14 p.m. Is the Shiraz making me sleepy, or is that just the effect of them passing out awards in the TV Movie/Miniseries category?

9:15 p.m. Jonathan Rhys-Meyers…not just white, but translucent!

9:17 p.m. S. Epatha Merkerson: Living proof that Hollywood isso stooooopid for not casting more hot-flashing actresses in leadingroles. Yeah, yeah, I’ll get off my soapbox now.

9:32 p.m. Where’s Jake Gyllenhaal? How come they’re not showing Jakey?

9:33 p.m. My friend Dawnie just IM’d me the funniest thingever about Larry McMurtry’s ode to his typewriter: “Look at me! I’m oldand I hate technology!”

9:36 p.m. Eva and Marcia, cheek-to-cheek. See, tabloid press! They totally heart each other!

9:50 p.m. And you thought Glitter would prevent Mariah from ever making it on stage at the Globes…

10:05 p.m. Hey! I feel gypped by this Anthony Hopkins tribute! Imean, now I’m all jonesin’ for more scenes from that movie with Baldwinand the bear.

10:06 p.m. By the by, Hannibal Lecter scares the bejesus outta me, even in the middle of a clip reel.

10:16 p.m. Nice work, Travolta. It’s Pierce Bros-nan, not Bron-son!

10:19 p.m. Joaquin Phoenix says it so you don’t have to: “Whoever thought I’d win in the comedy or musical category?”

10:37 p.m. Hands down the best eyewear of the night goes to the producers of Lost. And they put out a pretty awesome TV program, too.

10:41 p.m. I hate Dennis Quaid so much right now. Or is he justdelivering a really awful joke written by the Globes writing team?Either way, he shoulda skipped the “rhymes with chick flick” punchline. Blech!

10:43 p.m. And here I thought I was gonna go the whole night without tearing up. Damn you, Felicity Huffman!

10:50 p.m. The reverend journalist? I think you meant revered, Ms. Swank.

10:51 p.m. Not that I’m unhappy about Philip Seymour Hoffman’s win for Capote, but dude, your acceptance speech was such a snoozer, I wish I’d gone and brushed my teeth.

10:52 p.m. As an aside: Aishwarya Rai’s ad for L’Oreal kindamakes a guy wonder why she’s not as big in Hollywood as, say, J.Lo orSandra Bullock.

10:55 p.m. Brokeback wins! Yay. Yay! YAY! Uh-oh. Ijust got a dollop of Colgate MaxFresh with Mini Breath Strips Whiteningin Cool Mint toothpaste on the living room carpet. That’s it, people,I’m leaving the rest of the observations to you.

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