Credit: The Bachlor: ABC

Can television crush your soul? Probably not. But I sure felt like it might last night while watching the season premiere of The Bachelor on ABC. Granted, the show’s never been feel-good reality in the vein of the network’s Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, but watching 33-year-old oncologist Allie’s biological clock explode in the middle of a Paris chateau made me feel emotionally dead inside.

You knew it wasn’t going to end well when Allie (pictured,with E.R. doctor Travis, this season’s prize package), told the doc that she was ready to begin ”the reproductive phase” of her life (in their first significant conversation, too!), but it was her confession to the show’s camera crew that hit me hardest: ”The reason why I am here is definitely to find a husband. Hopefully, the bachelor will be that guy, because quite frankly, my eggs are rotting.”

I hoped against all indicators that girlfriend would hold it together when Travis chose to send her and 12 other eager singles back to the States, but — oh no! — Allie instead confronted her fellow M.D., demanding to know if she was ”too short” or if it was her ”small boobs” that prompted him to ditch her in favor of model Jennifer, wild-eyed Shiloh, and Tara Reid-lookalike Kristen, among others.

Fair enough, Allie has no one but herself to blame for flying across the Atlantic for a reality TV show instead of getting in a car and driving to the nearest licensed therapist, but the way the show lingered on her post-rejection rant struck me as particularly cruel. You can’t compare it to last season’s meltdown of resident witch Sarah W., who deserved to get taken down a notch or three. And juxtaposed with at least six mentions of the word ”romantic,” five references to ”fairytale,” and four uses of the word ”journey” (one in French!), the whole scene was the opposite of amorous, akin to downing an after-dinner glass of bile.

What did you think of last night’s season premiere of The Bachelor? And will you be back for Episode 2?

addCredit(“The Bachelor: ABC”)

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