MTV, Weekdays, 5:30 p.m.
Credit: Next: MTV

Guilty Pleasures: ”Next”

I know I should be over MTV’s all-day marathons of shows no one cares about, but when I stumbled across Next a few weeks back I couldn’t turn away. What a brilliant premise: Have a person go on a series of dates and if the first match isn’t right, for whatever reason — be it the hair, clothes, or even face — just say ”Next,” wave your arms all crazy while making a sassy comment like ”Greg might have looked like Tarzan but he smelled like Jane,” and voilà, out comes date number two! I can’t decide which Next-er is my favorite. The girl who fell on her ass while getting off the bus singing? Or maybe the flaming queen who played basketball in drag? Nah — it has to be the girl who hated her date so much that she relieved herself while sitting at the dinner table, forcing him to say ”Next!” Oh, those crazy kids. — Marc Vera