The 10 hottest topics for the week of January 13, 2006

1 Mira Sorvino made an honorary sheriff’s deputy The badge doesn’t really grant her any sort of actual power or privilege…much like her 1995 Oscar, come to think of it.

2 New York Republicans talk to Trump about possible run for governor It’s nice to see the GOP making such a concerted effort to move away from the filthy-rich-white-guy stereotype. Hell, why not just fly Gates in while you’re at it?

3 Kevin Federline launches own website Visitors can hear Mr. Spears rap and read in-depth musings such as ”I’m coming…2006!” (Yet another reason we already miss 2005.)

4 Bono says his activism created tension within U2 I can see the other band members’ point, but it’s kinda hard to take criticism seriously when it’s coming from a guy whose first name is ”The.”

5 Two men arrested after allegedly trying to extort $1 million for stolen video of J. Lo’s wedding Not for nothing, but can I pay a million not to have to watch it?

6 Tom Jones to be knighted by Queen Elizabeth Please tell me she’s not gonna throw her panties at him…

7 Dead Poets Society: Special Edition on DVD Travel back to a kinder, simpler time — when boys recited poetry in caves and Robin Williams refrained from wearing red rubber balls on his nose while calling himself ”Patch.”

8 Rolling Stones take in $162 million in 2005 ticket sales So what exactly does this mean — you can always get what you want? Has this all been one big 40-year fraud?!?

9 Tom Cruise-inspired phrase ”jump the couch” named slang expression of the year Put it in a time capsule — right next to ”You go, girl” and anything ending in izzle.

10 NFL playoffs begin Did the once-lowly Bengals make it, or is this New Year’s Eve and am I still drunk? Hopefully, both.